urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown girl girl 2008-08-05T00:38:18Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:211072 2008-08-05T00:38:18Z 2008-08-05T00:38:18Z Today some lady at Costco accused me of being too young to drive. Specifically, she said I took the coupon for $80 off of a set of tires as if I had a car. When I said I do have a car, she said she thought I was a little girl, 13 or 14. Jesus. I could forgive as young as 20, but 13? That's on you bitch. That is you being an idiot.<br /><br />I hate almost nothing more than people talking to me as if I am a child.<br /><br />I'm 25 motherfuckers. <br /><br />(and angry)<br /><br />Other things I hate: people who think they are smarter than they are, people who don't use their blinkers, people who don't use turning lanes properly, people who drive over-sized SUVs and trucks. <br /><br />That's right, bring it on gas prices. Ram those greedy, arrogant, space hogging shits in the ass. <br /><br />(elements don't count)<br /><br />I have a lot of aggression. <br /><br />I don't have to work tomorrow. I still haven't done the laundry that I needed to do four days ago. I had falafel for dinner. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:210742 2008-08-03T15:56:37Z 2008-08-03T15:56:37Z I think I'm only going to take three classes next semester. I'm really going to feel like a slacker, but with two jobs, and trying to enjoy my new apartment and take care of Costello, I really don't want to be miserably stressed out anymore. <br /><br />I need to cancel an appointment with my doctor that is scheduled for tomorrow morning, but for some reason they have no answering machine. Just a looping message that states their office hours and what to do if it's an emergency. So I guess they can't get too mad at me when I call at 9am Monday, which is when they open, to cancel an appointment for 9:30am the same day. There have been plenty of occassions when I needed an emergency last minute appointment, so maybe someone else will be able to take mine. <br /><br />I don't think there will ever be another time when I am not tired. I'm pretty sure I got nine hours of sleep last night, though I did wake up around 1:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep for a while. I'm going to have to get some caffeine before work today. suck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:210462 2008-07-30T07:14:16Z 2008-07-30T07:14:16Z I went into my Cal 3 final with a 99 average. I'm lucky if I came out with a B, and I'm guessing it will be a C. I don't know what happened. I mean, I know I didn't do most of the homework or review the old tests. I know my brain has refused to retain any information the past few days. Maybe weeks. And I know that I always think I do poorly on tests so people don't believe me anymore. But I swear, there has only been one other time when I thought I would be lucky to make a B, and I ended up with a C in that class. Of course, she was evil, but still. <br /><br />Anyway, I cried and I ate something, finally, I had a beer and I fell asleep trying to watch a movie. I feel kind of worthless and like maybe I have no right to be pursuing a math degree. And I'm wondering, how am I going to pass the actuarial exams if I can't even pass a Cal 3 final? <br /><br />Maybe Dr. Cueva-Parra will feel sorry for me and give me a B. I'd take it. It's just a shitty time to completely lose my mind. I'm not even excited about the semester being over. <br /><br />I think I'm going to have to give myself a break next semester. Take three classes instead of five. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:210336 2008-07-25T18:16:12Z 2008-07-25T18:16:12Z I got a new dress in the mail today. A Cool, Cool Water Dress from Anthropologie to be specific (because specifics are important). I ordered the dress when I found out that I pretty much had the tutoring job in the bag, and I figured surely I could afford a new dress every now and then. But it was back ordered for a while. Then I got the job at World Market as well. Two part-time jobs and a student loan. But I started to worry when I realized that with my hours and barely over minimum wage pay, it would take me a little over a week at one of my jobs to pay for this dress that I'm wearing. I don't think I'll be buying any more dresses for a while. <br /><br />I also don't think I will have internet or cable when I move. Which will be a good thing for financial management and time management. My Anthropologie obsession will have to be restricted to catalogs, computer labs, and visiting the folks. But they have the cutest little cardigan with little fishes swimming across it...<br /><br />I'm not buying any more clothes until January. Except for a pair of shoes for work. Because my feet hurt. That's five months, which is nothing really. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:210160 2008-07-25T02:40:53Z 2008-07-25T02:40:53Z I'm not going to try to be funny because I'm pretty sure that only one or two people ever get my jokes. Hello. <br /><br />I had forgotten about livejournal and I was thinking that everyone has probably forgotten about livejournal, now that there are fancy things like myspace and facebook. But I have a lot on my mind. Such as, if I start studying for my multivariable calculus final tomorrow, will I remember anything on Tuesday? If I don't start tomorrow, when am I going to have time to study? I have four other finals to work on, a wedding to go to, work and work and work. and work. Is it too soon to be resentful, just two weeks in? <br /><br />One day I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to make big bucks and live on $20,000 a year so that I can retire early. That's a plan. <br /><br />I'm getting off of the processed sugars. That shit will fuck you up. I think that's what is fucking me up. Actually, I'm probably just tired. And pre-menstrual. And weird. But the processed sugars don't help. <br /><br />I think I'll go to bed now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:209515 2007-10-28T19:49:15Z 2007-10-28T19:49:15Z So I'm killing this journal slowly, kind of like how I'm killing everything else and everything else is killing me. It's a chore. <br /><br />I guess I'll just leave some lyrics here, Ani, Aimee, Ben. I'll even throw in a little Baudelaire, apparently. Whatever. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:197351 2007-02-23T00:26:39Z 2007-02-23T00:26:39Z do you ever have that dream<br />when you open your mouth<br />and you try to scream<br />but you can't make a sound<br />that's everyday starting now urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:197035 2007-02-19T02:08:34Z 2007-02-19T02:09:30Z Life is a hospital where every patient is obsessed by the desire of changing beds. One would like to suffer opposite the stove, another is sure he would get well beside the window. <br />It always seems to me that I should be happy anywhere but where I am, and this question of moving is one that I am eternally discussing with my soul.<br />"Tell me, my soul, poor chilly soul, how would you like to live in Lisbon? It must be warm there, and you would be as blissful as a lizard in the sun. It is a city by the sea; they say that it is built of marble, and that its inhabitants have such a horror of the vegetable kingdom that they tear up all the trees. You see it is a country after my own heart; a country entirely made of mineral and light, and with liquid to reflect them."<br />My soul does not reply.<br />"Since you are so fond of being motionless and watching the pageantry of movement, would you like to live in the beatific land of Holland? Perhaps you could enjoy yourself in that country which you have so long admired in paintings on museum walls. What do you say to Rotterdam, you who love forests of masts, and ships that are moored on the doorsteps of houses?"<br />My soul remains silent.<br />"Perhaps you would like Batavia better? There, moreover, we should find the wit of Europe wedded to the beauty of the tropics."<br />Not a word. Can my soul be dead?<br />"Have you sunk into so deep a stupor that you are happy only in your unhappiness? If that is the case, let us fly to countries that are the counterfeits of Death. I know just the place for us, poor soul. We will pack up our trunks for Torneo. We will go still farther, to the farthest end of the Baltic Sea; still farther from life if possible; we will settle at the Pole. There the sun only obliquely grazes the earth, and the slow alternations of daylight and night abolish variety and increase that other half of nothingness, monotony. There we can take deep baths of darkness, while sometimes for our entertainment, the Aurora Borealis will shoot up its rose-red sheafs like the reflections of the fireworks of hell!"<br />At last my soul explores! "Anywhere! Just so it is out of the world!" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:172093 2006-03-10T16:18:52Z 2007-10-28T18:45:59Z she was cuffed to the truth like the truth was a chair<br />bright interrogation light in her eyes<br />her conscience lit a cigarette and just stood there<br />waiting for her to crack<br />waiting for her to cry<br />his face scampered through her mind<br />like a roach across a wall<br />it made her heart soar<br />it made her skin crawl<br />they said, we got this confession we just need for you to sign<br />why don't you just cooperate and make this easier on us all<br /><br />there was light and then there was darkness<br />but there was no line in between<br />and asking her heart for guidance<br />was like pleading with a machine<br />cuz joy, it has its own justice<br />my dreams are languid and lawless<br />and everything bows to beauty<br />when it is fierce<br />and when it is flawless<br /><br />on the table were two ziploc baggies<br />containing her eyes and her smile<br />they said, we're keeping these as evidence<br />'til this thing goes to trial<br />meanwhile anguish was fingering solace<br />in another room down the hall<br />both were love's accomplices<br />but solace took the fall<br /><br />now look at her book of days<br />it's the same on every page<br />and she's got a little tin cup with her heart in it<br />to bang along the bars of her rib cage<br />bang along the bars of her rib cage urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:166301 2005-06-25T03:35:56Z 2005-06-25T03:35:56Z you don't know, so don't say you do --<br />you don't.<br />you might think that things will change,<br />but take my word --<br />they won't<br />you paint a lovely picture,<br />but reality intrudes<br />with a message for you<br />and it's real bad news<br /><br />i was undecided like you<br />at first<br />but i could not stem the tide of overwhelm<br />and thirst<br />you try to keep it going, but a lot of avenues<br />just aren't open to you<br />when you're real bad news<br /><br />i've got love and anger<br />they come as a pair<br />you can take your chances<br />but buyer beware<br />and i won't<br />make you feel bad<br />when i show you<br />this big ball of sad isn't<br />worth even filling with air<br /><br />and baby, let me tell you<br />you can get some things confused<br />like whose secrets are whose<br />and that's real bad news urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:163545 2005-02-08T05:11:14Z 2005-02-08T05:11:14Z you can doubt anything<br />if you think about it long enough<br />cuz what happened always adjusts to fit<br />what happened after that<br />and it's hard to feel like you are free<br />when all you seem to do is referee<br />remember when it was just you and me<br />steppin' up to bat?<br /><br />and win or lose<br />just that you choose this little war<br />is what kills you<br />and either/or it's that this war<br />is maybe also what thrills you<br /><br /><br />we thought we left possession behind<br />but truth is i was yours and you were mine<br />and now i've replayed a thousand times<br />exactly what was said<br />cuz nothing is as it appears<br />in the funhouse mirrors of your fears<br />on the roller coaster of all these years<br />with your hands above your head<br /><br />and win or lose<br />just that you choose this little war<br />is what kills you<br />and either/or it's that this war<br />is maybe also what thrills you<br /><br />i don't care how fast you run<br />just tell me, baby, that when you're done<br />with your little marathon<br />you still got cab fare home<br />cuz the finish line is a shifty thing<br />and what is life but reckoning<br />and, you know<br />you are still the song i sing<br />to myself<br />when i'm alone<br /><br />and win or lose just that we choose<br />this little war is what kills us<br />and either/or it's that this war<br />is maybe also what thrills us urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:160902 2005-01-19T05:47:14Z 2005-01-19T05:47:14Z buildings and bridges<br />are made to bend in the wind<br />to withstand the world,<br />that's what it takes<br />all that steel and stone<br />is no match for the air, my friend<br />what doesn't bend breaks<br />what doesn't bend breaks<br /><br />we are made to bleed<br />and scab and heal and bleed again<br />and turn every scar into a joke<br />we are made to fight<br />and fuck and talk and fight again<br />and sit around and laugh until we choke<br />sit around and laugh until we choke<br /><br />i don't know who you were expecting<br />probably some bitch who does not budge<br />with eyes the size of snow<br />i may get pissed off sometimes<br />but you seem like the type to hold a grudge<br />and in the end, i just let go...<br /><br />buildings and bridges<br />are made to bend in the wind<br />to withstand the world,<br />that's what it takes<br />all that steel and stone<br />is no match for the air, my friend<br />what doesn't bend breaks<br />what doesn't bend breaks urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:159319 2005-01-08T19:07:09Z 2005-01-08T19:07:09Z what I've kept with me<br />and what I've thrown away<br />and where the hell I've ended up<br />on this glary, random day<br />were the things I really cared about<br />just left along the way<br />for being too pent up and proud?<br /><br />woke up way too late<br />feeling hungover and old<br />and the sun was shining bright<br />and I walked barefoot down the road<br />started thinking about my old man<br />it seems that all men<br />want to get into a car and go<br />anywhere<br /><br />here I stand:<br />sad and free<br />I can't cry<br />I can't see<br />what I've done<br />no, God,<br />what have I done?<br /><br />don't you know I'm numb, man, no,<br />I can't feel a thing at all, 'cause it's<br />all smiles and business these days<br />and I'm indifferent to the loss<br />and I've faith that there's a soul somewhere<br />that's leading me around<br />I wonder if she knows which way is down<br /><br />here I stand:<br />sad and free<br />I can't cry<br />and I can't see<br />what I've done<br />no, God,<br />what have I done?<br /><br /><br />and I poured my heart out<br />and I poured my heart out<br />it evaporated...<br />see?<br /><br />blind man on a canyon's edge<br />of a panoramic scene<br />maybe I'm a kite that's flying high<br />and random, dangling a string<br />or slumped over in a vacant room<br />head on a stranger's knee<br />I'm sure back home<br />they think I've lost my mind<br /><br />here I stand:<br />sad and free<br />I can't cry<br />and I can't see<br />what I've done<br />no, God,<br />what have I done? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:157903 2004-12-30T05:38:07Z 2004-12-30T05:38:07Z Leaf by Leaf and page by page<br />Throw this book away<br />All the sadness all the rage<br />Throw this book away<br />Rip out the binding and tear the glue<br />All of the grief we never even knew<br />We had it all along<br />Now it's smoke<br /><br />The things we've written in it<br />Never really happened<br />All of the people come and gone<br />Never really lived<br />All of the people have come have gone<br /><br />No one to forgive smoke<br />We will not write a new one<br />There will not be a new one<br />Another one, another one<br />Here's an evening dark with shame<br />Throw it on the fire<br />here's the time I took the blame<br />Throw it on the fire<br />Here's the time we didn't speak<br />it seemed for years and years<br />Here's a secret<br />No one will ever know the<br />reasons for the tears<br />They are smoke<br /><br />We will never write a new one<br />There will not be a new one<br />Another one, another one <br /><br />Where do all the secrets live<br />They travel in the air<br />You can smell them when they burn<br />They travel<br />Those who say the past is not dead<br />Can stop and smell the smoke<br />You keep saying the past is not dead<br />Stop and smell the smoke<br />You keep on saying the past is not even past<br />And you keep saying<br />We are, smoke<br />Smoke, smoke urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:155747 2004-09-06T15:27:32Z 2004-09-06T15:27:32Z sitting in my glass house <br />while your ghost is sleeping down the hall<br />watching little birds fly <br />kamikaze missions into the walls<br />think i'm gonna stay in today<br />sit on the couch and watch them fall<br /><br />life just keeps getting harder<br />and it just keeps getting harder to hide<br />the darker it is around me<br />the easier it is to see inside<br />outside the glass <br />the whole world is magnified<br />and it's half an inch <br />from here to the other side<br /><br />yeah i guess that push has come to this<br />so i guess this must be shove<br />but before you throw those stones at me<br />tell me, what is your house made of?<br />and if you think you know what i'm doing wrong<br />you're gonna have to get in line<br />but for the purposes of this song<br />let's just say i'm doing fine<br />i guess i'm doing fine<br /><br />trapped in my glass house<br />the crowd has been gathering outside since dawn<br />i make a pot of coffee<br />while catastrophe awaits me out on the lawn<br />i think i'm gonna stay in today<br />pretend like i don't know what's going on<br /><br />yeah i guess that push has come to this<br />so i guess this must be shove<br />but before you throw those stones at me <br />tell me, what is your house made of?<br />and if you think you know what i'm doing wrong<br />you're gonna have to get in line<br />yeah but for the purpose of this song<br />let's just say i'm doing fine<br />i think i'm doing fine urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:150330 2004-05-04T03:50:18Z 2004-05-04T03:50:18Z Barren stares as they light up the screen<br />bearing teardrops that shatter<br />in slow motion<br />novocaine our brains<br />and we're out like lights<br />And as I'm growing older I'm bored<br />I remember when misery thrilled me much more<br />when I can't relax<br />and I'd like to go back<br /><br />but that's gone<br />(we don't think that way no more)<br />yeah that's gone<br />turn around<br />turn the volume down<br />we're counting the days down<br />to the day when we'll live<br />in a video<br />I'll be stonefaced and pale<br />you'll pout in stereo<br />twenty four hours every day of the year<br />oh, what fun,<br />I can't wait 'til the future gets here<br /><br />Closing in on the pain and the torture<br />he's slamming the door<br />like it's something to strive for<br />the girl tearing curtains down<br />looks funny as hell<br />and of sense of humor<br />can there be any doubt<br />yeah, that natural selection<br />has weeded it out?<br />just to keep me from laughing out loud<br /><br />Well, I've seen some old friends<br />sort of die<br />or just turn into whatever <br />must have been inside them<br />whatever all of us had then in common<br />grew up<br />and left home<br />we don't think that way no more<br />turn around<br />turn the volume down<br />we're counting the days down urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:148775 2004-04-22T04:04:55Z 2004-04-22T04:04:55Z the wind is ruthless<br />the trees shake angry fingers at the sky<br />the people hunch their shoulders<br />hold their collars over their ears and run by<br />it's a cold rain<br />it's a hard rain<br />like the kind you find in songs<br />i guess that makes me the jerk with the heartache<br />here to sing to you about how i been done wrong<br /><br />i am sitting, watching<br />out the window of the coffee shop<br />and i'm waiting, waiting<br />waiting for it to let up<br />i am rocking like a cradle<br />warming my hands with the cup in between<br />i am leaning over the table<br />holding my face over the steam<br /><br />and before it gets so cold<br />that the rain turns to snow<br />there's just a couple things<br />i'd like to know<br /><br />like how could you do nothing <br />and say, i'm doing my best<br />how could you take almost everything<br />and then come back for the rest<br />how could you beg me to stay<br />reach out your hands and plead<br />and then pack up your eyes and run away<br />as soon as i agreed<br /><br />it just all slips <br />away so slowly<br />you don't even notice till you've lost a lot<br />i've been like one of those zombies<br />in vegas<br />pouring quarters into a slot<br />and now i'm tired<br />and i am broke<br />and i feel stupid and i feel used<br />and i'm at the end of my little rope<br />and i am swinging back and forth<br />about you<br /><br />and before it gets so cold<br />that the rain turns to snow<br />there's just a couple things<br />i'd like to know <br /><br />like how could you do nothing<br />and say, i'm doing my best<br />how could you take almost everything<br />and then come back for the rest<br />how could you beg me to stay<br />reach out your hands and plead<br />and then pack up your eyes and run away<br />as soon as i agreed urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:148372 2004-04-12T17:33:27Z 2004-04-12T17:33:27Z shaking like a dog shittin' razor blades<br />waking up next to nothing<br />after dreaming of you and me<br />i'm waking up all alone<br />waking up so relieved<br />while you're taking your time with apologies<br />i'm making my plans for revenge<br />red eyes on orange horizons<br />if columbus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge<br />i'd drive straight of the edge<br /><br />taking your own life with boredom<br />i'm taking my own life with wine<br />it helps you to rule out the sorrow<br />it helps me to empty my mind<br />making the most of a bad time<br />i'm smoking the brains from my head<br />leaving the coal calling the kettle black and orange and red<br />this kettle is seeing red<br /><br />i've got a big fat fucking bone to pick<br />with you my darling<br />in case you haven't heard i'm sick and tired of trying<br />i wish you would take my radio to bathe with you<br />plugged in and ready to fall urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:148090 2004-04-12T17:24:10Z 2004-04-12T17:24:10Z tuck me into where it's freezing<br />tuck me into bed with snakes<br />tuck me in with the tarantulas<br />i wanna let 'em in my mouth<br />and down my throat to lay their eggs<br /><br />tuck me into were there's bleeding<br />where it spills out of the walls onto the floor<br />tuck me into where your best friend's apologies<br />amount to shit, they always did, forever more<br />i pour out onto the floor<br />like liquid white from fallen glass<br />nothing to cry over<br />my skin went sour long ago<br />it knew it had no place left to go<br /><br />tuck me into where i'm falling<br />where i can feel the heat rise underneath my wings<br />and all the fallen angels in hell<br />will tuck me away from you<br />take me away from everything<br />tuck me into where there's dying<br />tuck me in with flames and tuck me in with flies<br />maybe then you will appreciate your only friend<br />with maggots in her eyes or as ashes in the sky<br /><br />i pour out onto the floor<br />like liquid white from fallen glass<br />nothing to cry over<br />my skin went sour long ago<br />it knew it had no place left to go urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:145418 2004-02-16T16:48:19Z 2004-02-16T16:48:19Z i am a work in progress<br />dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding<br />offering me intricate patterns of questions<br />rhythms that never come clean<br />and strengths that you still haven't seen urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:143084 2003-09-07T16:36:46Z 2003-09-07T16:36:46Z well hey do you do judo when they surround you<br />a little mental yoga will they disappear<br />it's grim but never dubious as motives go<br />no matter what it takes she promises a show<br /><br />thunder wishes it could be the snow<br />wishes it could be as loved as she can be<br />these gifts are here for her, for you, for me<br /><br />i watch me be this other thing, i never know<br />if i'm marooned or where the purple people go<br />then lily white matricide from vicious words<br />it doesn't leave a scratch so therefore no one's hurt<br /><br />thunder wishes it could be the show<br />wishes it could be as loved as she can be<br />these gifts are here for her, for you, for me<br /><br />and on and on the nurses make it clear<br />just when you escape you have yourself to fear<br />a restaurant that never has to close<br />breakfast every hour it could save the world<br /><br />so hey do you do judo in your finery<br />an angel's face is tricky to wear constantly<br />thunder wishes it could be the snow<br />wishes it could be as loved as she can be<br />these gifts are here for her, for you for me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:141468 2003-08-22T03:08:42Z 2003-08-22T03:08:42Z had me a trick and a kick and your message<br />well you'll never gain weight from a doughnut hole<br />then thought that i could decipher your message<br />there's no one here dear<br />no one at all<br /><br />and if i'm wasting all your time<br />this time<br />maybe you never learned to take<br />and if i'm hanging on to your shade<br />i guess i'm way beyond the pale<br /><br />and southern men can grow gold<br />can grow pertty<br />blood can be pertty<br />like a delicate man<br />copper to steel to a hinge that is faltered<br />that lets you in lets you in lets you in<br />something's just keeping you numb<br /><br />you told me last night<br />you were a sun now <br />with your very own devoted satellite<br />happy for you and i am<br />sure that i hate you<br />two sons too many<br />too many able fires<br /><br />and if i'm wasting all your time<br />this time<br />i think you never learned to take<br />and if i'm hanging on to your shade<br />i guess i'm way beyond the pale urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:135414 2003-03-28T19:49:08Z 2003-03-28T19:49:08Z go go go go now<br />out of the nest it's time<br />go go go now<br />circus girl without a safety net<br />here here now don't cry<br />you raised your hand for the assignment<br />tuck those ribbons under<br />your helmet - be a good soldier<br />first my left foot<br />then my right behind the other urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:135109 2003-02-27T14:09:58Z 2003-02-27T14:09:58Z snow can wait<br />i forgot my mittens<br />wipe my nose<br />get my new boots on<br />i get a little warm in my heart<br />when i think of winter<br />i put my hand in my father's glove<br />i run off <br />where the drifts get deeper<br />sleeping beauty trips me<br />with a frown<br />i hear a voice<br />"you must learn to stand up<br />for yourself<br />cause i can't always be around"<br />he says<br />when you gonna make up your mind<br />when you gonna love you<br />as much as i do<br />when you gonna make up your mind<br />cause things are gonna change<br />so fast<br />all the white horses are still in bed<br />i tell you that i'll always want you near<br />you say that things change, my dear<br />boys get discovered as winter melts<br />flowers competing for the sun<br />years go by<br />and i'm here still waiting<br />withering where some snowman was<br />mirror mirror<br />where's the crystal palace<br />but i only can see myself<br />skating around the truth who i am<br />but i know dad<br />the ice is getting thin<br />hair is grey <br />and the fires are burning<br />so many dreams on the shelf<br />you say i wanted you to be proud of me<br />i always wanted that myself<br />when you gonna make up your mind<br />when you gonna love you<br />as much as i do<br />when you gonna make up your mind<br />cause things are gonna change <br />so fast<br />all the white horses have gone ahead<br />i tell you that i'll always want you near<br />you say that things change, my dear urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:onthewaydown:130362 2002-12-30T21:58:40Z 2002-12-30T21:58:40Z you know what else is missing, educated guess.